Cycle

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I have talked with Tracy about the idea of cycles. The idea that you shift between mind sets, and what you may have thought when you were twelve, discarded as you grew older, and then as you go through the cycle, even come back to that same conclusion when you are twenty that you had when you were twelve. Things that you thought were concrete and obvious, can turn into obscurity with startling speed, only to come back into vision, and then be lost just as fast. I think I'm becoming more understanding of the phoenix. It continues through its life, knowing that it is just a matter of time before it meets a fiery death. Only after that plunge into the flames can it break its self down to the tiny fragments of ash and bone, and begin again, slowly reforming, slowly becoming reminiscent of its former self.

"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me."
-Beatles

These lyrics have been stuck in my head lately. Maybe it has been my over exposure to Beatles songs over the weekend, and watching Across the Universe, which I probably won't watch a second time, there are definitely worse movies to see twice. I had thought that I had smoothed out the plaster over the cracks, and that much like a new building, it would take some time for it to look normal in its surroundings.. but I found a crack, and upon closer inspection, the crack was not singular, but one of a vein of cracks, resembling much like a creeping vine that covers foundations like these. They are annoying to have to continue to deal with, but I don't think that I will ever get rid of them. A friend exterminated his hamsters.. I need to find a way to exterminate this weed before it consumes me.