Three times at once.
This is a topic that I am not sure I can speak for many people on either thorough observation, or guessing at possible perspectives. For my own introspective curiosity then, I will try to describe what I mean by my perception of time and how hard it is sometimes to remain in one specific period for too long.
When I think about time, It comes to me as this foggy path with a orange glowing strand of string running back as far as I can see, and as far infront of me into the fog as I can tell. When I am looking to understand a past event, guess my present condition, or guess a future action, all three are extremely persistant in vying for my attention. It is, from my observations of others, easier for me than others to become trapped in the past, or removed into the future. I have become pretty good at removing myself from the present and have had numerous times where I feel as if my central core of thought and mind is not located within my body, but rather from a third person view, seeing myself as a character moving through some motions while I am held to watch in an objective attention. What this person does doesn't mean anything to me. I wonder how he will rectify this, or solve that. Whether the ease to which I can slip into this mode is a side effect of practicing effective roleplaying, or if this has actually helped me take other's points of view I cannot say. It is a little difficult to explain how one thinks of three separate times simultaneously, but that is, I think, the best word for it. I relive my mistakes in the same instant that I move to make sure they do not repeat themselves, as well as try my best to realistically imagine how my life might be better or worse because of my actions or words. It is bizarre, because it happens so fast, and sometimes both fast, and for a long time. Almost like a..semi controlled panic attack that jumps planes. What I think is important to note is that I do not just remember or imagine the past and future, but I live them. Touch, smell, tone, lighting, objects, emotions, how hard my hand is clenched, where I am located in my house, in the state, in the world, what the weather is like, how others around me have spoken, or will speak, how full I am, what background noises am I hearing. This is what I mean. This is why it is hard for me to stay in one place because at times I am living three lives at once, and despite their overlapping, it is still chaotic.
Looking into the fog, I can roughly see where the line of light has disappeared, but from there, the strand becomes less obvious and splits into a multitude of paths. Looking back I can see the rainbow of decisions and course alterations.
"It is today already, but it is not Tomorrow yet."
-Me
Showing posts with label co-incidents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label co-incidents. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Monday, November 8, 2010
Since I'm Here. Recontinued Remember: pt 3
Since I've just been talking with people for what is now five hours already I must resign myself that I'm not going to be doing homework today. I also haven't been writing. Now that I have had a warm up I feel moved to note down a few things.
Over this weekend I began to be come so calm about the way things were that that lack of commotion or problems in it of itself seemed to be problem. When things seem fine I am inclined to look for the problem that I am over looking. It is usually a misinterpretation, something misunderstood or straight out ignored. I was reminded this night that my sister is not the only one I can converse with at a high level of understanding. Granted, I would be hard pressed to say that any one ever will be able to get onto our level of color, shared experiences, and inside connecting jokes of interest and codexes, but at times I feel as if I forget this. I forget that there are other intelligently aware people surrounding me if I take the chance to reach out a little or do the correct prodding.
I am also working on trusting people to be good people more. While it is not as if I consciously or instinctively distrusted people, it was interesting to see that in cases of confusion and uncertainty, I withdraw and worry rather than trust them to be a capable human being that doesn't mean to harm me. They are doing the best they can with the given situation and how they move about it. They are not searching to do wrong, and it can be avoided with simple communication.
Geneva showed me a video of people dancing extraordinarily, and recently I watched a Youtube video on par kour combined with gymnastics and mixed martial arts. Then I went and climbed a tree. I feel as if I've touched on this before but the physical movement of it all is what, heh, moves me. I am beginning to feel more confident as if when one does something well, or becomes pretty good at a thing, there is this rhythm to it that can be translated from almost anything. I feel it when I write Japanese Calligraphy, in climbing, in dancing, in soccer, in TaeKwonDo, in piano, in cooking, and how one moves through a math problem. There is a beat, a movement to it all. A flow. Hopefully in time I well develop a better connection with amazing connectivity between environment and self. It feels so safe and so wonderful.
REMEMBER: Roleplaying
On situations and people doing what they can with what they have reminds me to continue topics I discussed with Tracy last year. I felt as if alot of problems in social relations between people be it groups, relationships, etc. occur from problems in role playing. It is something that I am simply used to doing. Partly being brought up in a way that emphasized not troubling anyone else unless you absolutely must, it became a tool that I have since developed. As I imagine actors must thoroughly research and understand the pressures on their character in order to play the role as authentically as possible, so too must others not underestimate just how much they have to imagine in order to simply make a good guess as to another's thoughts, feelings, possible reaction. When I imagine this process, I literally have to stop moving, close my eyes and focus entirely on how things would be from another's point of view.
This means my general view of them, the history I know and how I feel it would affect my decisions and priorities, what that persons goals might be, social relations, tendencies, stature and how that body would feel like, where its balance is, and what seems to be most important is how I would appear and be interpreted by that person. This means visualizing myself conversing or simply being there. How would I react to myself? How would THEY react to me? How do I even behave? At the end, all I have is a guess. After all of that work, depending on how well I know the person, I have to resign myself to simply have an educated guess to guide my future actions. Perhaps it is I who is the ignorant one and flawed in my ability to understand a basic Cooley Looking Glass Self in operation but it seems to me that most do not go this far. They skip and just get to the guessing without trying as hard as they can to mentally develop a realistic scenario.
Over this weekend I began to be come so calm about the way things were that that lack of commotion or problems in it of itself seemed to be problem. When things seem fine I am inclined to look for the problem that I am over looking. It is usually a misinterpretation, something misunderstood or straight out ignored. I was reminded this night that my sister is not the only one I can converse with at a high level of understanding. Granted, I would be hard pressed to say that any one ever will be able to get onto our level of color, shared experiences, and inside connecting jokes of interest and codexes, but at times I feel as if I forget this. I forget that there are other intelligently aware people surrounding me if I take the chance to reach out a little or do the correct prodding.
I am also working on trusting people to be good people more. While it is not as if I consciously or instinctively distrusted people, it was interesting to see that in cases of confusion and uncertainty, I withdraw and worry rather than trust them to be a capable human being that doesn't mean to harm me. They are doing the best they can with the given situation and how they move about it. They are not searching to do wrong, and it can be avoided with simple communication.
Geneva showed me a video of people dancing extraordinarily, and recently I watched a Youtube video on par kour combined with gymnastics and mixed martial arts. Then I went and climbed a tree. I feel as if I've touched on this before but the physical movement of it all is what, heh, moves me. I am beginning to feel more confident as if when one does something well, or becomes pretty good at a thing, there is this rhythm to it that can be translated from almost anything. I feel it when I write Japanese Calligraphy, in climbing, in dancing, in soccer, in TaeKwonDo, in piano, in cooking, and how one moves through a math problem. There is a beat, a movement to it all. A flow. Hopefully in time I well develop a better connection with amazing connectivity between environment and self. It feels so safe and so wonderful.
REMEMBER: Roleplaying
On situations and people doing what they can with what they have reminds me to continue topics I discussed with Tracy last year. I felt as if alot of problems in social relations between people be it groups, relationships, etc. occur from problems in role playing. It is something that I am simply used to doing. Partly being brought up in a way that emphasized not troubling anyone else unless you absolutely must, it became a tool that I have since developed. As I imagine actors must thoroughly research and understand the pressures on their character in order to play the role as authentically as possible, so too must others not underestimate just how much they have to imagine in order to simply make a good guess as to another's thoughts, feelings, possible reaction. When I imagine this process, I literally have to stop moving, close my eyes and focus entirely on how things would be from another's point of view.
This means my general view of them, the history I know and how I feel it would affect my decisions and priorities, what that persons goals might be, social relations, tendencies, stature and how that body would feel like, where its balance is, and what seems to be most important is how I would appear and be interpreted by that person. This means visualizing myself conversing or simply being there. How would I react to myself? How would THEY react to me? How do I even behave? At the end, all I have is a guess. After all of that work, depending on how well I know the person, I have to resign myself to simply have an educated guess to guide my future actions. Perhaps it is I who is the ignorant one and flawed in my ability to understand a basic Cooley Looking Glass Self in operation but it seems to me that most do not go this far. They skip and just get to the guessing without trying as hard as they can to mentally develop a realistic scenario.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Weekend Topics: Recontinued Remember pt:1
These are some things that I have been noticing, and have tried to narrow down exactly what it is that make people seem so different from me in terms of the way they think. On the base level I feel as if people should be able to come to the same word-form conclusion that I come to, but I feel as if the path to get there is very different, and in the end changes the importance, or how personal the realization is.
"Nothing is small"
Future planning.
People may try to plan for the future, but I do not see them do it in the same way that I do. To me it seems to be more of a conscious attempt at a potential action rather than a scheduled event. I will be participating in it, and i need to think about the realistic situation in which I will be experiencing. I need think about the way it is going to smell, how crowded a thing may or may not be, that point where you look out and see someone you recognize but don't know wether to wave at them or not. Or if you may get flustered momentarily by someone your trying to impress. These all need to be considered. Returning to an idea of preparation. I am not sure if I can name something that I don't have to mentally prepare myself for before doing it. There is always a sonar ping, some "if this happens, I will say this" stretching required before going out and running with it. It is almost because of this that, in accordance with a later description of Role-Playing that it is almost pointless to go to most events that only deviate slightly, or make it so much easier to rationalize not going somewhere. I can imagine the situation, the buzz, the atmosphere, the dimness of the lights, a packed room with too many people and bouncing ping pong balls. Who is there with me, the words they will say and cause me to say words, etc. It becomes thought of. After practically experiencing it in real life I then make a decision if that is indeed the future that I want to participate in. Is that the future I want to have as part of my experience?
This preparation has played a large part in deciding what kind of person I want to be, and who I have become. In order to deal with a predicted event, I should be able to do ______ thing. In order to have that ability, or knowledge, I should practice this new skill, or increase my knowledge about this. The only other route is to explore the future image long enough to discover what exactly I am looking for and how I should realistically expect to achieve it.
"Nothing is small"
Future planning.
People may try to plan for the future, but I do not see them do it in the same way that I do. To me it seems to be more of a conscious attempt at a potential action rather than a scheduled event. I will be participating in it, and i need to think about the realistic situation in which I will be experiencing. I need think about the way it is going to smell, how crowded a thing may or may not be, that point where you look out and see someone you recognize but don't know wether to wave at them or not. Or if you may get flustered momentarily by someone your trying to impress. These all need to be considered. Returning to an idea of preparation. I am not sure if I can name something that I don't have to mentally prepare myself for before doing it. There is always a sonar ping, some "if this happens, I will say this" stretching required before going out and running with it. It is almost because of this that, in accordance with a later description of Role-Playing that it is almost pointless to go to most events that only deviate slightly, or make it so much easier to rationalize not going somewhere. I can imagine the situation, the buzz, the atmosphere, the dimness of the lights, a packed room with too many people and bouncing ping pong balls. Who is there with me, the words they will say and cause me to say words, etc. It becomes thought of. After practically experiencing it in real life I then make a decision if that is indeed the future that I want to participate in. Is that the future I want to have as part of my experience?
This preparation has played a large part in deciding what kind of person I want to be, and who I have become. In order to deal with a predicted event, I should be able to do ______ thing. In order to have that ability, or knowledge, I should practice this new skill, or increase my knowledge about this. The only other route is to explore the future image long enough to discover what exactly I am looking for and how I should realistically expect to achieve it.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Snow in Spring
Walks late at night in a semi warm Portland, good food, co-incidence,
This is another book that I need to reread at a later date and immerse myself in. Despite being in the West, it clearly and vividly reminded me of the Midwest and my home. What I am and what Wisconsin is, and how that carries back to me. My childhood and my identity were momentarily refreshed. Long snowed in days where in a particular drift you make a store for people to admire your different and unique icicles. where you stay out on a dark hill by the barn that is only illuminated by a far off blue of the mysterious Night Light that just comes on whenever it is dark. How that lonely light skips and reflects off of frail clumps falling from the sky. Arms outstretched, clothed in thick bundles standing triumphantly on your creation only to run back up the hill breatheless and tube down again on a track that is finally smooth enough for speed.
I remember.
I remember everything.
This is another book that I need to reread at a later date and immerse myself in. Despite being in the West, it clearly and vividly reminded me of the Midwest and my home. What I am and what Wisconsin is, and how that carries back to me. My childhood and my identity were momentarily refreshed. Long snowed in days where in a particular drift you make a store for people to admire your different and unique icicles. where you stay out on a dark hill by the barn that is only illuminated by a far off blue of the mysterious Night Light that just comes on whenever it is dark. How that lonely light skips and reflects off of frail clumps falling from the sky. Arms outstretched, clothed in thick bundles standing triumphantly on your creation only to run back up the hill breatheless and tube down again on a track that is finally smooth enough for speed.
I remember.
I remember everything.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Amber, 45 degree upper left crimson clouds perspective
Thanks Tracy
music
Social Psychology has been very reassuring that I am pursuing something that is of great interest. Reading is not a chore, and I may soon just go ahead and finish the book. This is the psychology I am interested in and most familiar with. This is a class that I feel I must do well at and cannot fail. Productivity has stalled over the last week, but it is making a return. Refresh, reboot, step forward. I watched a few episodes of Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood again this weekend. After taking breaks in between watching large amounts of the show I am always hit with a very heavy, very real realization. Ed and Al never, NEVER stop trying. They never stop moving forward. They have a goal, and they not only strive for this with everything they have, but they do not lose their own identities through their fight. They have seen people killed, murdered, tortured, sacrificed. They have only each other, and have barely any friends who they can speak to about their past, or uncovered secrets. A particular scene that sticks with me is in the original series in which they come to Tuckers house to prepare for their State Alchemy Exam. Al is admiring the books and exclaims at how many there are and how cool it'll be to read them all. As he waits for Ed's response, he looks down and sees his older brother already half way through a book reading furiously.
"He's already started." Al jokes.
No hesitation. Always motion. Always learning, and the courage to confront the many obstacles that threaten to kill them.
At the least I am realizing these things and can try to keep up with them.
The other notice-ment is that of the dangers of mulling. I am good at it. I have much practice. I can understand things very well. However, that which is being understood must have been an actual event, which actual facts, and actual intents. Substitute intents only work so far, and usually for the wrong conclusion. "If we stop worrying, and fighting about time, I think we'll find that it's really on our side."-Scrubs episode. I want this to be true. I want to be able to stop thinking about right moments, situations, and how to time words. I need to work on teaching others how to listen and understanding that they already know how to.
music
Social Psychology has been very reassuring that I am pursuing something that is of great interest. Reading is not a chore, and I may soon just go ahead and finish the book. This is the psychology I am interested in and most familiar with. This is a class that I feel I must do well at and cannot fail. Productivity has stalled over the last week, but it is making a return. Refresh, reboot, step forward. I watched a few episodes of Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood again this weekend. After taking breaks in between watching large amounts of the show I am always hit with a very heavy, very real realization. Ed and Al never, NEVER stop trying. They never stop moving forward. They have a goal, and they not only strive for this with everything they have, but they do not lose their own identities through their fight. They have seen people killed, murdered, tortured, sacrificed. They have only each other, and have barely any friends who they can speak to about their past, or uncovered secrets. A particular scene that sticks with me is in the original series in which they come to Tuckers house to prepare for their State Alchemy Exam. Al is admiring the books and exclaims at how many there are and how cool it'll be to read them all. As he waits for Ed's response, he looks down and sees his older brother already half way through a book reading furiously.
"He's already started." Al jokes.
No hesitation. Always motion. Always learning, and the courage to confront the many obstacles that threaten to kill them.
At the least I am realizing these things and can try to keep up with them.
The other notice-ment is that of the dangers of mulling. I am good at it. I have much practice. I can understand things very well. However, that which is being understood must have been an actual event, which actual facts, and actual intents. Substitute intents only work so far, and usually for the wrong conclusion. "If we stop worrying, and fighting about time, I think we'll find that it's really on our side."-Scrubs episode. I want this to be true. I want to be able to stop thinking about right moments, situations, and how to time words. I need to work on teaching others how to listen and understanding that they already know how to.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
From the Well..
There is only so much one can do. There is a difference between reality and mental cognition of perception and recalling of details. I hope I can remember that.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
An Attempt
Currently there is a small communication error that is going around, but this is not going to deter me any longer. Slowly, things are getting better grounded, or at least prepared to become so. More pictures need to be taken. Over this weekend hopefully new guitar hero controllers will come in the mail, I can hang out with people before they leave, and some Dungeons and Dragons will be played. Disappointment is still rank in what I have accomplished, but it is getting to the point where this is to be expected. Current status is trying to be pulled back from another wave of apathy and basic survival. The connectedness that I had been working so hard at achieving has some how been swept away quickly and before I could notice. By the time I have, there is need to relearn.
There is not need for total despair however. I have gotten better at feeling cycles when they appear. The more I am able to work through them and understand their depth, the more I am able to swing them around in a proverbial hula-hoop. It is my theory, or maybe hope, that at some point in time all angles will mesh into a single perspective so that I may be aware and responsive to all things at all times. This very description is doomed to fail, and seems to exist only in a an ideological world.
For the most part, this last quarter of time has seemed to be locked in an inability to manipulate thoughts into words or a language. Machinery has been calibrated and tuned, but for some reason is not explaining. I would akin it to a ..... a poke'mon using hardening. Not entirely sure which one at the moment. Speaking of which, found the gameboy with crystal version.
: ) college will be awesome.
There is not need for total despair however. I have gotten better at feeling cycles when they appear. The more I am able to work through them and understand their depth, the more I am able to swing them around in a proverbial hula-hoop. It is my theory, or maybe hope, that at some point in time all angles will mesh into a single perspective so that I may be aware and responsive to all things at all times. This very description is doomed to fail, and seems to exist only in a an ideological world.
For the most part, this last quarter of time has seemed to be locked in an inability to manipulate thoughts into words or a language. Machinery has been calibrated and tuned, but for some reason is not explaining. I would akin it to a ..... a poke'mon using hardening. Not entirely sure which one at the moment. Speaking of which, found the gameboy with crystal version.
: ) college will be awesome.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Momentum
Things are gravitating a little bit I think. Soccer is now over. I don't plan to spend any more time on that subject. Other than that I still have the terrible need to put recently baked hot goods into my mouth. This time it was brusheda that did the burning. Normally it is of pizza make.
I think that while I have done badly at reconnecting, momentum is none the less picking up and hopefully will guide me a little bit better.
as a side note, me and tracy are both eating soup-like things.
Right now I don't trust myself to write down something truthful.
I will return to this later.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Remember.
I have been thinking more and more this week, and I think that I have come to a thought. I had some help coming to it, but I feel that, I too am ready to walk through walls.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Spring..
I have realized that I do not read as much as I used to. This should probably be changed. A list should be made of "favorite" books that have not been read more than several times, or have potential of being taken more deeply, or better respected in my now. "A Wrinkle in Time" seemed a good place to begin.
Become.
Be.
Prepare.
Live.
Am.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Dipping into the Past with the Future
I have had my ipod on shuffle for the last 3 days. This is supposed to allow me to remember songs that i have forgotten about. What it has resulted in has been almost a physical yanking of consciousness. I remember when I used to have this song on repeat for a whole week, I remember how I couldn't bare to listen to this one, I didn't listen to the lyrics like this before, this one has a different color than before. I also fear the repeat function of ipods. It is so easy to just repeat a playlist of set songs. After listening to that playlist for too long, you can become trapped within the mood of that playlist. At the same time, I think it is therapeutics to listen to songs that are able to musically relate, and speak lyrically about your relative situations or feelings. But like anything in repetition, it can warp your way of thinking, and impair you. That is why I am under the goal of, while i'm skipping songs every now and then, at least saying in shuffle mode until I have gone through my whole library.
The philosopher Schopenhauer gave an often-quoted example of porcupines trying to get through a cold winter. They huddle together for warmth, but their sharp quills prick each other, so they pull away. But then they get cold. The have to keep adjusting their closeness and distance to keep from freezing and from getting pricked by their fellow porcupines-the source of both comfort and pain.
We need to et close to each other to have a sense of community , to feel we're not alone in the world. But we need to keep our distance from each other to preserve our independence, so others don't impose on or engulf us. This duality reflects the human condition. We are individual and social creatures. We need other people to survive, but we want to survive as individuals.
-The Workings of Conversational style
-Deborah Tannen, Ph. D.
I am ok in the sense that I feel neutral. Things are still so awkward, but I do not know how to distance myself. Am I too close physically? Am I too far away psychologically? I need to continue to preserve my neutral self, while adding improvements, before I can move on to preserve other people.
The philosopher Schopenhauer gave an often-quoted example of porcupines trying to get through a cold winter. They huddle together for warmth, but their sharp quills prick each other, so they pull away. But then they get cold. The have to keep adjusting their closeness and distance to keep from freezing and from getting pricked by their fellow porcupines-the source of both comfort and pain.
We need to et close to each other to have a sense of community , to feel we're not alone in the world. But we need to keep our distance from each other to preserve our independence, so others don't impose on or engulf us. This duality reflects the human condition. We are individual and social creatures. We need other people to survive, but we want to survive as individuals.
-The Workings of Conversational style
-Deborah Tannen, Ph. D.
I am ok in the sense that I feel neutral. Things are still so awkward, but I do not know how to distance myself. Am I too close physically? Am I too far away psychologically? I need to continue to preserve my neutral self, while adding improvements, before I can move on to preserve other people.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Negative Hibernation
A good fried of mine gave me a deadline.
"You have until the end of February." she said.
I told her that I thought it was a good thing to tell me. I have something to work toward, I have a goal.
"Yeah,.... I never keep my deadlines though."
I am feeling confident that I can make it.
I got some plaster and started working on the cracks. It worked pretty well, and I know that I can live in this building and neighborhood for a while longer. I don't think that my plaster is going to ever completely fix those cracks. I've come to the conclusion that that must be done by someone else. I don't know who they are yet,but I have an idea, and I don't know what they are going to use, but the material will be perfect, and it will be applied so that it lasts.
I think that I have finally turned a corner so to say.This road is still hazardous, and I still have to take time to rest and remove the thorns from my unprotected feet, but through the ground I can feel a rythm. It is full of life, and is like a warm sound of orange and blue entertwined. It reminds me to remember myself.
The snow right now is both beautiful and annoying. Taking walks at night is so peaceful. I reccomend walking in the very center of the road and listening to string based instrumentals, or songs that could be seen as "background soundtrack" type for a movie, and watching how the snow falls. Here it is nice beacuse no one ever drives late anymore. Down side is the cold, but it is not that bad.
I'm still not using my time as wisely as I maybe should be. Right now I'm taking time to do this post instead of do homework that probably should get done sooner or later. While I should probably change this, I also feel that this is how things are going to continue to be. Just as long as I don't procrastinate on anything important.
"You have until the end of February." she said.
I told her that I thought it was a good thing to tell me. I have something to work toward, I have a goal.
"Yeah,.... I never keep my deadlines though."
I am feeling confident that I can make it.
I got some plaster and started working on the cracks. It worked pretty well, and I know that I can live in this building and neighborhood for a while longer. I don't think that my plaster is going to ever completely fix those cracks. I've come to the conclusion that that must be done by someone else. I don't know who they are yet,but I have an idea, and I don't know what they are going to use, but the material will be perfect, and it will be applied so that it lasts.
I think that I have finally turned a corner so to say.This road is still hazardous, and I still have to take time to rest and remove the thorns from my unprotected feet, but through the ground I can feel a rythm. It is full of life, and is like a warm sound of orange and blue entertwined. It reminds me to remember myself.
The snow right now is both beautiful and annoying. Taking walks at night is so peaceful. I reccomend walking in the very center of the road and listening to string based instrumentals, or songs that could be seen as "background soundtrack" type for a movie, and watching how the snow falls. Here it is nice beacuse no one ever drives late anymore. Down side is the cold, but it is not that bad.
I'm still not using my time as wisely as I maybe should be. Right now I'm taking time to do this post instead of do homework that probably should get done sooner or later. While I should probably change this, I also feel that this is how things are going to continue to be. Just as long as I don't procrastinate on anything important.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Priorities
I have been thinking a lot lately. I have had to rearrange the way I think, the way I view, and safety measures. I have heard many helpful things, and many hurtful ones. I have had to relearn myself. I still don't understand why this happened, but I am going to survive it, and learn. I'm still not there. I feel kind of how a Velcro piece does as it's being peeled off. There's still a connection, but that doesn't mean progress isn't being made. I am still in a state of "don't know". I don't know what's going on, and I don't know what I am thinking. I need to be self aware, and divvy out maintenance to where it is due. I told myself I was going to be alright.
I don't intent to not carry out that promise.
I don't intent to not carry out that promise.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
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