Forward

It is time to get work done, son.

Geometry pt. II

I am coming to the conclusion that Portland is about the closest to a geographical mind reboot as anything. Every time I am here I can just feel layers sliding off, or changing the way they were arranged. Time holds still, but mostly is the same behind the curtain. Things make sense in Portland despite strange weather, and stranger road systems. I'm not quite sure how to put it, but this place is healthy. Like all the moss that covers everything. I think that fits. A Mossy-ness. The sun is setting on this particular puzzle despite it is still left uncompleted. There will be time to revisit it, but for now, I will place it in its own particular box of which I have collected many and should have one that will fit perfectly. There still is much to do, and having to figure out this and other puzzles on the side is not going to help find the rhythm. Soak back into black, lean against orange, let light blue be the guide through the woods.
(Dear future Sam, Draw this for understanding)

Snow in Spring

Walks late at night in a semi warm Portland, good food, co-incidence,

This is another book that I need to reread at a later date and immerse myself in. Despite being in the West, it clearly and vividly reminded me of the Midwest and my home. What I am and what Wisconsin is, and how that carries back to me. My childhood and my identity were momentarily refreshed. Long snowed in days where in a particular drift you make a store for people to admire your different and unique icicles. where you stay out on a dark hill by the barn that is only illuminated by a far off blue of the mysterious Night Light that just comes on whenever it is dark. How that lonely light skips and reflects off of frail clumps falling from the sky. Arms outstretched, clothed in thick bundles standing triumphantly on your creation only to run back up the hill breatheless and tube down again on a track that is finally smooth enough for speed.

I remember.

I remember everything.

Just Maybe

I forget the exact time, but I remembered something I posted earlier this year, and was more aware a thing.
A shift of thinking from "How will a Sam deal with those around him and the world" to "How will those around me and the world deal with a Sam?"

(Pic to be added later)

How to Measure Time

I have finally gotten around to getting "The Little Prince" into my possession again. After reading other Dr. Seues books and eating a few grapes I was very glad to sit and remember. I'll have to go back and read "The Rainbow Scale" as I remember my guidance counselor reading it to me in kindergarten. I have also managed to get back into the habit of carrying around a camera around more often. The landscape has yet to be exactly picturable.
I think this semester I feel slippery. A few things grab me as I chance by, but by and large there is just too much oil and they don't stick, or don't find just the right hand hold. Perhaps it is my own hands that are too slick, or that I don't know what holds I can use. The thought is maybe even so maleable, so... not concrete that maybe without definition it simply lacks to be.

There is exactly enough time.

Sitting in an unkept lawn, feeling the long blades of grass, like hair wrapped along my fingers.
Softening my core.
Rays of life scream down from their lonely adventure, warming my skin.
Breathe in infinity and exhale uncertainty.
geometry and colors, rivers and trees.
A single droplet perfectly suspended in slow free fall.
No action without reaction, no movement without cause.
Radiating power. Secure. Warm. Tender. Safe.
Cloud whisping along, who are you really?

手つだて下さい。

I am trying to work a little more at Japanese immersion. I have no idea if I am doing the right thing but I still need to get things together and understand what exactly I am doing and what that means. I watched Naussica the other day, and Up not too long ago. These movies have helped. I remembered the same feeling of mystery and engagement I had when watching Naussica on cartoon network wondering why it seemed so good. Only later to realize that it was a Miyazaki film. I am doing an interesting mixing of perspectives and colors that are running along with my movement, but never completely fading out of view regardless of intent. On a completely different side note, Chemistry is indeed just raising up my want to learn Biology to get away from math. Concepts without math is better. Unless I have to do math in order to do Psychology or art, then I seriously lack interest and have noticed that I nearly shut down in the presence of numbers. Too many bad experiences. I'd much rather learn and memorize how muscle cells communicate to each other so that I know what to eat and placebo me a better twitch response.
I just want things to fit. Things should fit.
Equilibrium has not set in yet and It is almost over. I have had almost zero effect on the world and those around me and it is already one year gone. Too few achievements. Too little working, too little doing. Too little fitting. What people did not mention about college is that everyone else is always busy too.

Interesting..

"All in moderation.
Including moderation itself.

-AJATT Blog

Tie together

Make this
Fit to this

"You have exactly enough time, starting now"
-Matt

Rotation and slow Free Fall

"A Square my Lord. Shall he nestle it into the bosom of the L block, or perhaps .. leave it room to grow"
-College Humor
More music for purpose and perspective

Dissolve, expand, reform

In need of reorganization and priority sets.





Breathe.

For Richard

I'm sorry I didn't get to know you more than just in Core and every now and then at rock climbing.

Sounds like you were a really amazing person. Thanks for sharing some of your life force with me. I'll try to use it for the better.

To anyone and everyone who has helped me so far to get to this amazing college, and everything else in life so far. Even to people that I don't know yet.
Thank you, I love you all.

Everything at Once

(upon picking up a stick and twirling it somewhat)
"I should learn how to juggle, or at least fight with a staff or something."
A puzzled look and likewise response
"Why do you keep on doing this to yourself? You seem obsessed with time. Just slow down and stop trying to do all this stuff."
".but.. juggling would be cool."

I still have not yet understood why this conversation exists. I may be because I've said the same things about:
running, sprinting well, piano, cello, gymnastic-y things, break dancing, knitting, video games, hiking, knot tying, programing, math, psychology, japanese, music theory, literature, drawing, painting, origami, anime, manga, Marvel and D.C., good movies, cinematography, how a computer works, martial arts, calligraphy, graphitti, writing, how to gentleman, etc. ....manage time, do those special card trick cuts, play guitar...

Why do people seem alienated by the idea of learning all these things when I voice them? Are we as a generation already used and resigned to the idea of specialization? I admit that there will probably never be enough time in the world for me to be content with the amount of things that I want to learn given my time management skills and how interesting things will pop up and distract me.

I don't see my frustration with time as particularly referring to time, but the perceived potential of what I could achieve. If I just practice these things a little bit, I can do all of these activities averagely to slightly above average. I want to be able to walk in a room and play a piano, draw a good picture, write in elvish, tie a good knot. In order to do well I need to prepare, and in order to prepare I need to practice. In order to practice I need to start. Something that I am still getting used to. I need to begin the beginning so that I can start the end.

Good Times You Can Set Your Watch To

This will lullaby me to sleep for the next week.

Empty Nest

Oddly enough my entire section now are living in singles. Either with people gone, or with activities, B sec is effectively empty. This is a little nice because I actually feel like I have a little more control on my activities and can focus a little better without being prompted to do things other than my goals. I need to capitalize on these precious days of concentration so that later I will have time to more. So far I've started up an Anime reviewing blog that is a little bit of fun. So far I've got a few good things that I've been able to express but it is still a long way away from writing what I mean to say. I like to feel like I have some sort of authority in the subject and that the things I say might actually be right and agreeable. However, there is still a long way away from that. Pictures will have to start being taken again if I am to truly take advantage of the absence of people. I need to reconnect to my camera and tell stories again. Mushshi has definitely helped be remember the small things. That along with Place Promised in Our Early Days.

***
I am now in possession of The Anime Art of Hayao Miyazaki which is proving to be very useful in what I should know in order to make Pocket-Watch a better blog for actually knowing things. Having a single is pretty nice. I still haven't gotten everything organized, but I like to sprawl. Just sitting down at a desk for a small subject usually means I have to see everything I'm going to be using. Being able to do this a little more is nice. Being able to sit in my room and let my thoughts swirl around in a confined and safe space is very useful. If I was truly doing this I would start trying to cover the walls in japanese and more art that I should be getting around to. For now I will try to relax and recollect.

Elfen Lied

Lately I've been poking along, getting things through in an old and familiar manner. I've done better job at organizing my things around me to remind myself of life and good things. Lately pandora has been very helpful, playing songs that have been matched perfectly to what I need. Over the last weekend I got caught up in looking for some more anime to watch having been reunited with Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood. The Elric brothers have done a lot for me in the past, and look like they will continue to. However, I searched and found Elfen Lied thanks to Ryan Will. Much like Ergo Proxy that was also lent, this story was very original. It has it's own color that I associate with it after finishing the closed manga. Despite how graphic the anime and manga are, I think that it is necessary. At the moment I am still unwrapping things and unsure how to say words so I will have to come back here later and tell them again. Connectiveness with these characters was possible, and despite any initial annoyances, the series is very well done. Very dark with shades of comedy, and a discussion of belonging, and what it means to be human. I wish they had waited for the manga to finish so that they could have done the whole thing.

I need to learn how to draw.

Below is a small exert of several episodes in a music video that properly portrays the feel of the anime.