YEEEESSSSS!!!!

OMG!

Pie Day!

Apparently there's a council.

Curse you math.

Worry

Ah yes. There you are. And to think I almost started living without you.

Precedents

Working on this post has been troublesome. I had an idea that has slipped just before I started writing so I hope it comes back to me. Pictures have been helping I think.
...!

And with that I remember.

title: Speaker for the Dead.

True to its title, ironically prompted by a teacher who had other plans, I remembered how to like reading and thinking in a way I'm used to. With the opening possibilities of second, and last semester at Kohler, I believe that I can begin to start being better at completing, and doing. I can start reading again at the least. At least at the moment I'm tranquil with how things are, which is probably healthy. I have enough school work to keep me oriented, but not enough to keep me constricted. I still hate offices. I suppose there is more of a settling feeling. But at the same time the idea of colored ribbons, and ancient ruins push themselves forth. At the least, I can camp and stay put, so I will try to. I feel as if my hands are steady enough at the moment that maybe I could take some of those first steps. Paying attention while remembering the spoonful of oil I hold.

The dual reason for this post is to keep me in practice. I have become lax. And my mental powers are paying the price. I must stay sharp. I must stay prepared, and I must adapt to survive, and survive to adapt. I need to remember the reconnectedness I felt not so long ago and grab onto it fully. The Speaker of the Dead reminded me of this. I know it is true because he said it. Maybe I just want it to be true. I still wish that there was a way to at least see things for what they are. I think I am very bad at this. When people speak, I wish instead of hearing their words, I could just understand. I don't care what they say. I want to understand what they mean, and in turn, that they know what I mean.

The Rebirth of the Beginning of the End

(winter playlist
swim
the resolution
17 seconds to anywhere)
Another year has past, and I am still not up to the task of actually fulfilling the plans I set down for myself. Looking back at a previous post, This is one aspect that has not in the least changed. I feel as if the ability that I've had in the past to say meaningful things to myself to help jump start thought an ingenuity have some what dimmed. Mostly because of lack of practice, and not clearing my head before I write these. I have not written enough down, and in turn, will forget too much that should not be. Whatever my rooftop level of thought is has very rarely been able to yell down to the rest of the world what it is, and it is often heard in a way that is unclear. Despite things being slightly disappointing in that regard, equilibrium has still been more than possible, and more great groups are beginning to come into being. Stability is not necessarily part of that, but it has also creeped into places where I'd like it or not. I wish there was a better way to make myself understand what is going on.
A man who holds a snow globe may be witness to a great spectacle and insight to a great city, but mourns that he does not know France, and the Eiffel tower trapped inside. They are not the same, but he is still so close, how much more would it take to let it slip, or to create a new reality?
A friend of mine told me to keep an eye on both the oil, and my surroundings. I believe myself to have been looking somewhere in between, not on one or the other. This has maybe been the least efficient way to do things, but at the least it has been monitored.
Wall-e has probably been the most useful thing I have paid attention to this entire year. There was so much truth and connections confined into a small little robot I can barely comprehend it. It made things real. While last year may have been one of Great Realization, This was one of Great Attempts at Internalizing those realizations. I just hope that understanding those internalizations doesn't take a whole year.

Lack of too little time.

It has come to my attention that I am writing about half as much as I did last year, and with less quality of posts. As an early year resolution, I hope to be able to write things down more so that I don't need to be stuck wishing I could remember.
I don't take pictures nearly as much anymore either. I am currently blaming this kohler house until I can better define what is being stupid. It is probably me, but until then..

><

Colors of a familiar tune twirl their way through a crisp fall afternoon. The sun’s persistent warm rays reflect off of the colorful leaves that have finally found beauty in death and change. The ribbons of color embrace and conjure up their own memories as I pass a hand slowly over them. They remind me to respond with the appropriate color sequence, which upon release yields an expected hue. Then the concentration is gone, a materialistic eye is confused at what it has just been witnessed, and turns toward the conversationee. A tree sided road strolls up to meet the two, but goes unnoticed as the inner eye curses at it’s lack of power and understanding. A brief pause and a reboot of what is known, and what is not, and the walking verbal interaction continues, but so too a constant frustration at the lack of action. Always a lack of action.

If only

Mathematical Communication

What is likely a winning combination

Today was a snow day. It was very nice in its coming. There was a plan already for its entrance. It involved sleeping bags, and how amazing it would be if you spent a whole day in one. However, conflicting plans imposed their way in, and things began to get stuck in time. Instead, I have probably walked for two miles easily in snow, and scenes unraveled in their usual way, which was not. College apps are almost done, and online chinese is drastically behind. I need to start writing more often. It will help to remember. I have not noticed in significant status fluctuations. Tracy is coming home soon which will be amazing. I just hope it does not go over as things usually go over.
...
I have a feeling like I should be doing things.. But I don't know what.
/._.\

Once Again XKCD..

Link
For some reason, pictures are being very not formatable.

Statements. Thoughts.

Dear Future Sam.
Not really sure how the state of anything is at the moment. Drifting back to third person. I don't know if this is acceptable or not anymore. I haven't really had time to focus in on one thing or the other, or outside factors. This in itself may be a problem. Momentum is still being felt, but it has yet to be directed toward one thing or another. It is spilling over into too many different things and is spread to thin. A large spoon is needed to contain such bursts in protective walls lest the town be flooded. Music is a large influence in tone of perception. Sitting on roofs is a good substitute for a tree. One should determine their utility and then play the role of the prospector and siv through until some rare treasure presents itself. In such an instance, it should be analyzed and put to use, but only when understood. White green whisps, and foreboding whirlpools of blues and purples, and rhythmic ripples. Piano is still a site of Truth. Don't forget about the leaves, their motion paused in the air, and their sorrowful decent until they lay peacefully defeaten on the grass. Pictures are healthy. Mouth words must hold with them the resolve of mind. Fluidity will come, and with that, the stream of knowledge, and tributaries of the past. Let the knowledge of others rain down and fill your empty stream beds.

Sociology, and other randomness

Momentum

Things are gravitating a little bit I think. Soccer is now over. I don't plan to spend any more time on that subject. Other than that I still have the terrible need to put recently baked hot goods into my mouth. This time it was brusheda that did the burning. Normally it is of pizza make.

I think that while I have done badly at reconnecting, momentum is none the less picking up and hopefully will guide me a little bit better.
as a side note, me and tracy are both eating soup-like things.
Right now I don't trust myself to write down something truthful.
I will return to this later.

Long time coming

It's been a long time since I've written much of anything. I've been so preoccupied with filling my time with either things I think I should be doing, or purposely knowing that nothing will come out of the time I put in. The later of these is probably the more often used unfortunately. I don't think that I'm following the path I had worked to set myself up for after Madison. Things were so much more simpler then. None of this death college things to get in. Music is again helping. Good for motivation and relativity. Sociology is being stupid. Philosophy next year should prove better. I need to continue to do better if I even want to think about colleges. I would rank myself as maybe mediocre at this point.

-10/23

Still mediocre. Still not super. Still not showing signs of cognitive movement. Piano playing would be nice. This kohler house is not advantageous for deciding to do work.. not enough open spaces or private creeks in the woods. I can feel a sort of bubble shield beginning. I am slipping back into a malnourishing act of procrastination.
I am also not writing enough so that I can't even tell where I've been.
note to self. Matt is stupid.