Gears

Thanks future Tracy.

Stabilizing

These few weeks left before heading out to college have thus far presented themselves in a very beneficial manner. The usual large percentage of what should be finished survives on, but there is a better condensing of past years and origins. I am using a good amount of confidence to just go out and do things that I want to, and organize myself so that impromptu adventure is possible. Should think about reasserting the glowing orb view, and then escalate it so that relationship threads are visible as well. Perhaps I should draw a picture of such a spectacle so that I know a little what to look for. When I load up this page to either look for forgotten ideas or to add new ones, I am noticing how much pictures are lacking and just how important they are to my being able to speak fluently or to explain things. They help things take form better than some text on green. I am reminding myself to make a "Things to look forward to" notebook so that I can start getting ready with anticipation.

I am just about almost ready.

Sheeple

An Attempt

Currently there is a small communication error that is going around, but this is not going to deter me any longer. Slowly, things are getting better grounded, or at least prepared to become so. More pictures need to be taken. Over this weekend hopefully new guitar hero controllers will come in the mail, I can hang out with people before they leave, and some Dungeons and Dragons will be played. Disappointment is still rank in what I have accomplished, but it is getting to the point where this is to be expected. Current status is trying to be pulled back from another wave of apathy and basic survival. The connectedness that I had been working so hard at achieving has some how been swept away quickly and before I could notice. By the time I have, there is need to relearn.
There is not need for total despair however. I have gotten better at feeling cycles when they appear. The more I am able to work through them and understand their depth, the more I am able to swing them around in a proverbial hula-hoop. It is my theory, or maybe hope, that at some point in time all angles will mesh into a single perspective so that I may be aware and responsive to all things at all times. This very description is doomed to fail, and seems to exist only in a an ideological world.
For the most part, this last quarter of time has seemed to be locked in an inability to manipulate thoughts into words or a language. Machinery has been calibrated and tuned, but for some reason is not explaining. I would akin it to a ..... a poke'mon using hardening. Not entirely sure which one at the moment. Speaking of which, found the gameboy with crystal version.
: ) college will be awesome.

Comsumption of the Summer

I am currently making a mental note to start writing down more posts now that a few things have happened. I have gotten my laptop, watched a good anime series, and have started playing wow. ASP this year was, as usual, a good experience to have and was probably beneficial to mine self. Still going to have to wait before I get back into the swing of being able honestly assess anything that I may or may not bee writing down on these notes but at the very least I suppose I need to start somewhere. After much difficulty most of my things have been moved over to the new laptop, but a few thousand photos and documents still need to be put into their place. I think the theme about this summer is going to be friend management and the ratio that I can approve of spending with their different groups. Clarity to issues and time according to due dates are still up in the air and as usual. There is hoping to be a moment in time where we can work on a treehouse somewhere on the farm, but its reality has yet to be fully recognized. Anticipation is still high for Whitman and I cannot wait to get out there. I really hope that we will be smart and allow time to hang out with Tracy. Other than that, events have been mellow and containable.