Camera Angles

maybe its just the excessive amounts of Assassin's Creed i've been playing, but in addition to the last post, things have also been different in that i feel like i'm in two places at once. i imagine this is what artificial intelligence would feel like when they have multiple tasks. i am still making conscious decisions here in the first person, but like a third person view, i feel out of person, like things are happening to this person, and i'm just controlling the body from a far and not really feeling in its shoes. yet again i'm having a statistically awesome week i guess. no jazz band, no testing the waters, no real homework that i've actually done at home, girlfriend came over after cello lessons, .....second thought, i'm boycotting the word girlfriend from this blag for a while. it's too new, and strange that it now applies to me. plus we're cooking on saturday, and flowing right into pie night. i should be ecstatic. but i'm not. i am glad that things are running smoothly, but for some reason, it has yet to click for me what's actually going on, and the true gravity of things. these are generally what should be noticed first.
cooking should be great.

Differences

things are different now. there's more than just me to consider now (not that that's stopped me in the past, it's just more obvious lately) and at the same time, things seem less important. i can sense that this is dangerous thinking. fall is trickling away, and winter is coming. frozen patterns, familiar and weird are coming back. but there's something different.
i mean, one parts obvious what is different. it's definitely eating up more of my time, but that's not what i'm thinking of. that's not what's new.
there's one more dot in the pattern, one more leaf on the tree. why is it there? what does it mean? how am i able to really tell if it's there or not?
times are going too fast, and crawling again.
she's so different. this is so different. but am i different? i'm not unhappy, which is a streak i'd like to see continue, but that also...is.. different. thought lines are taking diagonals when they used to go right, and doing so more often.

Color Appropriate

/*baffle'd*/

I don't understand Riley Armstrong. his songs lurk amongst my other tracks of my itunes library. just waiting for me to be most susceptible to his acoustic, and great lyrics. they have had eerie prediction powers, hints, cautions, lessons, and down right awesome in the past, and continue into the present.
plus he makes awesome tshirts.

current status: ok level 9

Rotlan 2007/Thinking pt. 5-end

this has been the end of an AMAZING week so far. test scores have not been scary, i've only been tricked once, i've been able to stay up around kohler with cool people who eat pie and watch disney movies, i found answers in leaves and clouds and little puddles on the sidewalk, homework is minimal, people are showing an over all positive non-jerkness in their tendencies, and there was more than enough guitar hero and halo to go around. in ADDITION, nick severson showed up, and talk from the past was resumed and added upon. i still have warm, fuzzy clothing, and most importantly, clean happy socks, and the presence of milk and cookies.
current feeling- very light white purple ribbons, back ground of dark navy blue, buabbles of orange and red, and intertwining ribbons of white-green and pink. ... gold sun beams through out.


as the final corner piece, gently thuds into place, a calming silence grips the land. all is right.

Thinking pt. 4

Levels

bleh. things are changing without change. nothings happened, but by just adding time, it seems like so many things are decaying, growing, falling apart, being repaired. and then when i step back it's all how i left it. it's the same workshop i come to and try to make the most with the tools i have. where i make great ideas, and never get to them. where i prioratize things wrongly, and have only myself to blame.

in the imagined world, things make more sense, but is extremely worrying. reality has so many more unknowns that can't be assumed.

i need to change this. it feels like time is slipping, either for better or worse, and there has been too much fretting on the past and future. so much thinking has been put into the future, that i fear i have impaired the present from running smoothly. and if i'm not in the future, then i'm in the past. categorizing, analyzing, running search engines and probabilities. and in the dementia of near insomnia, words change, different conclusions are found and hung onto, and they seem so real. to the point where actual conversations are altered to accommodate the theory, future conversations, hints, verbal ques, and actions are created with such perfection, that the line between reality and the imagined becomes faded.
what is real?

Can't find no rest on my own

...Still i'm not so sure that i know,


Man, the Trouble is,
We don't know who we are instead.

At least there were colors at the end of the road.

One of these days I'll get my own words back. I can't keep letting nature talk for me. No matter how relevant.

Pie makes everything better

yesterday night is going to have to be lasered into my brain. there was pie, awesome people to eat pie with, getting lost the same amount of times as we were given directions, super heros found their time just as fast as they met their end, and to wrap things up, marco polo was barely avoided in a wal mart. afterward, basically the art gang got together and watched lion king and aladin. its been a while since i've seen either of those, and it was time well spent. things are actually feeling like their falling into place right now. it's hard to explain. its like watching far off hunks of puzzled geometry drift down and slot into place with a satisfying, confident click. right now i think i feel like just a little dark green with some sunset pink.