Trail of Questions

I was just thinking the this last week about how people are defined, how they define themselves. As a not so recent Batman movie put it, "It's not our words, but our actions that define us". I'm not so sure. Or, at the least I'd like to put a different spin on it. We are defined by the questions we ask, or perhaps by which questions we seek the answers to.

Minimal Maximal

I have been doing a lot this year. I feel like I have not done a good job actually letting myself know how much stuff I've been doing this year. I have learned how to speak ok Japanese. I have learned what a computer is. I have learned basical survival readings. I have started narrowing down my thesis topics, gotten knowledgable about politics and the state of things.

I have learned how to be happy with less. Spencer and I often point out that there may actually come a time where we don't find ourselves wanting things. Right now I don't actually need to buy any more things. I need housing and stuff, but apart from the day to day life, I have books, games, computers and other unnecessary things. Through a mess of factors including understanding more of the political scene, being a little more environmentally aware, and understanding how much of my life has been influenced by American consumerism, I have stumbled on myself striving to start anew. I think I know what I want in a lifestyle, and I think I know what I don't want. The tricky part is removing the later. I don't need many things from my past. They sit around as physical reminders, holding me from time to time, but do not free me.

I am going to miss leaving Japan, but I am very excited for returning to America. I have ideas. I think I can do them. I know I have the ability. I need to royally get my ass in gear where homework and reading is involved, but I think everything will work out.

Another musing is just realizing how amazing any form of income will be. I am worried that I may not find a job right away but even if that is the case, just living on my own somewhere where I can have some peace of mind and my own personal zen hut will be wonderful. Granted, I need to get student loans out of the way. Those will be the hardest thing of all. I hope that maybe by the time I'm 30 I will be rid of them D:

Just the idea that I could potentially have $1000 as my PLAY money is amazing. I fully understand how easy it is for that to disappear with bills and living expenses or houses and cars, but seriously... That's a lot of play money. That is an "Oh. I guess I'll travel. Oh, I guess I get a sick new computer. Oh, I guess I get several hundreds of books. Oh I guess I eat like double the king I was last year. Oh I'll just make it rain cause I can. Oh I'll just pay someone to install kinnect into my house and make my home a living interface."

That's what throws me for a loop. I can just get things if I were to care to.

Even the fact I can be like "eh. don't like living here. To somewhere in Japan, or elsewhere in the world" astounds me. So much power...

I realize I have to get there first, but I'd like to think I have several ok paths infront of me. Bad case scenario, I go and work as starbucks or something. Either way. Will cling to Takemoto and his knowing placement of people.

I am excited to get back to Whitman and start practicing my new life. I think I have done well to make some steps, and I am excited to start not buying things anymore. The list will slowly get whittled away until I can just up and do anything on a whim. That would be the best. Ever.

Lord Vader, Rise

(I apologize for quoting the false trilogy)

“Begin: a year of placement”

I am currently in Japan. I have placed myself here and am working on getting my mind around learning. This has been a very interesting year. It looks like I will continue to attend Whitman, Grandma pulled through, I got my AKP things in, had to talk it out with a few womens of upstanding class, hold some people together, worked on a psychology, achieved 10 mile running ability.
In terms of learning, I became aware of how to dress dapperly, move my money, question everything when I need to, dance, and even how to build my own computer.
Japanese is still pending.

It’s almost insane to actually think about how much I am able to get done when I look at the names of items, and yet, how utter lazy I feel other days, or take a look back on my day. I waste so, SO much time not getting my goals done. I still have yet to really try at Japanese, and that is something that must start sooner than later. I am making steps, but I am not there.

I think there is one very large thing that I am not giving enough credit to. I am actually consciously feeling like a responsible person. What I mean is that I feel like I am taking huge steps into the “adult” world and with the coming graduation of college, being well traveled and my own portable living space (Read: computer and sleeping bag) I will be ready to seek this job thing. I don’t have much actual direction for where I want to go, but I will c

I’ve been watching some of the batman beyond shows. Weird to realize that those are now ten years old and that when they came on I wasn’t even really a fan of them because I liked the original all the better. That’s weird to think. I even got really annoyed when I came across that project zeta cross over. That was such a dumb idea. Anyway, it’s made me realize that I need to clean up my act. That was the whole reason I got into college. I wanted to be like Batman. I wanted to strive for that mix of ability of a powerful will, a sharp mind, and the physicality to do whatever I put my mind to. Taking a moment to look back on recent weeks, I have strayed from that. I have been easy. I have let others do my thinking and deciding for me. That’s not what Batman does. Batman fights the hard fight. He sleuths, he gets educated, he works through pain and does not waiver. Crime fighter, successful, self motivated, well dressed, and skilled. I need to make better use of my time.

It’s time to stop taking the small steps of self-improvement. I’ve wadled long enough.
Let’s work. Let’s start studying, put our heads down, and start running. I’ve thought for a long time on what I what to be, and many ways to get there, but I feel I’ve always known the answer. It’s time to capitalize on that. I am a man of talents, and collector of stories. I will make my own. And it will be awesome.

Some of the things I will be working on this next year:
Japanese language skills
Political awareness
Dressing appropriately fashionable
Shaving like a gentleman
Fitness level up
Survival skills and knowledge
Computer components and how they work
Build a computer
Reading more by decreasing internet usage
Cooking like a cook
Become financial wizard
Thesis level up