Stalin

Floating

I have noticed that over this past week I have been feeling more and more....away from people. I hope that I am not resurfacing the humans are units of meat line of thinking. I have been traped in school and have not been able to play video games, or read books that I need too. I feel like I should be writing more here to better explain this so that I can understand, but I am also feeling a little not motivated to do much of anything. I should go to sleep but I won't just yet.

Note to self: today was stupid

pros: did not cut off fingers, despite math, am still alive.

cons: got stitches, had an imaginary homework grade that applied only to me. I was not even there. I got a zero. Got a D on a math quiz where I have same answers of some one with a B. English teacher for AP lit. cannot handle words with multiple definitions (Ex: flowery). failure has come up and reared its ugly head. Apparently now that I've been accepted to a college, I will now just be subject to ridiculously stupid scenarios whose main goal is stopping me from going to college by any means necessary.
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Coming and Going

It is currently 630 am, but I feel moved to write something at the moment so I think that I will. Not having to worry about college related things any more has greatly decreased my stress levels down to about what things were like fall last year. I don't have to worry about grades too much, but that isn't taking root as much as I thought it would. I have decided that this second semester is going to be more productive that the first, so I am going to be reading more books and playing more video games hopefully.
There is a more dense and metallic feeling about this second turn. More singular. That being said Whitman can not come soon enough. I am almost ready mentally to feel the crushing sensation of learning. Philosophy classes at UW and psych at school, no matter how simplistic is a nice change of events that I can see will help me keep a good stream of consciousness. Trees of a familiar wood surround me, but their individual trunks are different from the normal. I am not particularly here or there, and at the same time I don't find myself too unsettled. I should learn how to find resources though if I expect to find my way back.


I hope this is not a deadly circle.
At least I have a rock.