Long time coming

It's been a long time since I've written much of anything. I've been so preoccupied with filling my time with either things I think I should be doing, or purposely knowing that nothing will come out of the time I put in. The later of these is probably the more often used unfortunately. I don't think that I'm following the path I had worked to set myself up for after Madison. Things were so much more simpler then. None of this death college things to get in. Music is again helping. Good for motivation and relativity. Sociology is being stupid. Philosophy next year should prove better. I need to continue to do better if I even want to think about colleges. I would rank myself as maybe mediocre at this point.

-10/23

Still mediocre. Still not super. Still not showing signs of cognitive movement. Piano playing would be nice. This kohler house is not advantageous for deciding to do work.. not enough open spaces or private creeks in the woods. I can feel a sort of bubble shield beginning. I am slipping back into a malnourishing act of procrastination.
I am also not writing enough so that I can't even tell where I've been.
note to self. Matt is stupid.

Fall 08

It's a Trap!

-Sam, come spend your whole Sunday putting in a sub-pump that the house builders should be putting in.
-Sam, bring your homework so that you can do the homework you planned to do this whole day and not have a total loss.
-Sam, go back to kohler and do this random chore, then stay their for school.

ps: This was a trap. This was a ploy to separate your backpack from you. Welcome back to school.
pps: hope you can finish that math turn-in before eleven, that's a pretty long car ride.

Reconnectedness

I can't explain it, just know that it is happening

(madison sketch to be added)

Coming to

School has finally caught up and trapped me in its clutches once again. As could be expected our amazing faculty have been demonstrating a now common lack luster job at understanding just what exactly happens in their tiny tiny school of which, it is their only job. The kohler house is still working out pretty well and has been a useful home base. While patterns of scheduling have yet to be noticed and taken advantage of, this year is definitely not without promise of being amazing. Our current physics class exemplifies this. There is not a possibility of even having a bad lab group...just one that isn't as exciting as others. I think in kohler it is easier for me to do homework merely because there seems to be the weight and ever vigilant gaze of the 'kohler ideals' that seem to increase the closer you are to the school. Maybe this is what it is like to live in a town... On the farm I have noticed considerably just how easy it is to do what I want, or think I should be doing be it reading, or doing video games, or working out. It will be interesting to see how things go from here.

Friday Night

Situation: Babylon A.D came out, and even though we haven't really seen it yet, the internet rumored it to be not that great. So our rag-tag band set out for a more better movie to watch. While strolling through BestBuy, we happened upon a piece of old-school gold. He-Man. Immediately we scavenged for another season, and were rewarded with the complete series. Every single episode of He-Man: Masters of the Universe were OURS! Also to go along with this, we had loaded up at Biglots, and were ready for feast-ening. The medium for viewing was an at least fifty inch amazing-tv and comfy couches littered with zebra cake wrappers. The next 7 hours were some of the best of the summer. I can only hope to continue to recreate it from time to time.

Olympics '08

Return

SSI was really useful. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to summarize what I actually am certain I learned or didn't learn. I continued a trend of not living up to the potential I could have if I would use time efficiently and in a logical way. The great thing is now I actually have some research time, and a published paper.
...
Soccer has started and now there is a house in Kohler which is suiting well towards what I need to get done. Certain people are reacting in just the sharp manner that they have been for years which has allowed me to hate construction work and "organized" labor.
...
I am angry that this post was split up into parts, but I don't think there is a sufficient way for me to remember and write down everything important. Things just were.

Collaspe the Light into Earth

Song: Collapse the Light into Earth
Artist: Porcupine Tree

Comics and meditation

Lately I have been watching a lot of cartoons that have either been highly suggested I watch, or according to a list Tracy and I made up that would be beneficial to watch. these have included Superman,Batman, Justice League, Bleach, and Full Metal Alchemist. These I think have been good for me. The art direction in all of them are very well done, and the plots also have been quite stable. Going with this, Dark Knight as an amazing movie that also helped me think things over. Our research here is still pushing on and we are finally starting to see some cool trends. I still don't think that I'm reading enough, but I still have some time left. I have also managed to find a nice spot that I can go and just sit for nice long periods of time. I am, if I haven't come to it earlier, very confident in my ability to live in a college type thing. I still need to continue to prepare though.

Dreamtime

I am a little annoyed at my lack of posting, seeing how now I have time to do things. On that note, I am annoyed at my lack of doing. I am confident in my ability to function and manage, but yet I cannot seem to get much closer to doing things that I think about. I can tell I'm getting better, which I suppose is much better than not noticing progression. It has also been a long time since I have gone back and reviewed things within this site, and within my books.
The more I read, the more I feel I am beginning to see more. It never really occurred to me before, but as our technology advances, there is a growing trend, or it is becoming easier to live within our own minds. I mean how we are living within man's mind. Our cities in particular would be an example of living exclusively within someone else's mental manifestation. I hope this is how the rest of college is, the rapid absorption of knowledge and different perspectives. It is like being in the matrix and having someone upload a new and different skill into your brain.
I am also noticing a tone in this particular post I'm doing a bad job at conveying very well what I am meaning to say. hurm.

- 7/13

I have managed to find time for some sitting by a lake with a rock. I am developing a more right sounding theory that the most of us are not very good at identifying with things. When I say 'things' I am not entirely sure what that all entails, but it is quite alot. When I say 'identify' I mean more of the attachment that comes with it. We may have recognition with nature through memory, but our overall labeling system objectifies it much too readily. My goal for this summer is, ironically in the midst of an internship, is to de-objectify as much as I can.

Thus adding to a never ending list of things to accomplish.

Time to rest

Things have been very laid back here in mad-town. I think that things would be a little more cool if I actually were in freshmen year at college, rather than in a seven week program. But the initial vaccination of college "life" is rather nice so far. I would have thought that I would be making more posts if I really did have more time, but this may also be due to a lack of a portable thing.

I will probably change this post in the coming days.. or even hours depending on when I can upload quote that I have been meaning to immortalize into the interwebs.
It has been very nice to see Michael and people again, and disscuss stuff. I don't feel that I am working adequately enough (as usual though), but I am glad at my assimilating abilities of adaptaion.

I need to do more processing.

"Surely there is some point where one must stop this nonsense and emerge. "-past Sam.

-July 2.
I have been reading more, and trying to see more than just the physical in the world around me. I am not sure how well I am doing this, but it is...different. Before I loose this concentration, below are an assortment of quotes that I have collected from The Giver and what I have gotten from The Conference of the Birds so far.

"Reality is not what it is. It consists of the many realities which it can be made into." (Sight and Sensibility)

"Love involves the surge of feeling experienced when one perceives another acting as a reliable and trustworthy care giver, and submits passively and fully to being the recipient of this care." (Sroufe,1996)

"...the thought of the moment chased away the experience and bliss slid into wonder."(S and s)

"...Seeing is the power to catch the light thrown at us."(S and S)

"...By reaching out and touching, we can alter the world that we see." (S and S)

"I also know a dark similitude
Will on the fancy more itself intrude,
And will stick faster in the heart and head
Than things from similes not borrowed" (Conference of the Birds)

"The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the lonliness of it. Memories need to be shared." (The Giver)

"Give up the intellect for love and see
In one brief moment all eternity..." (The Conference of the Birds)

The Pigeon:
"Dear pigeon, welcome- with what joy you yearn
To fly away, how sadly you return!
Your heart is wrung with grief, you share the gaol
That Jonah knew, the belly of a whale-
The Self has swallowed you for its delight;
How long will you endure its mindless spite?
Dut off its head, seek out the moon, and fly
Beyond the utmost limits of the sky;
Escape this monster and become the friend
Of Jonah in that ocean without end."
(Conference of the Birds)

"Renounce your soul for love; He you pursue
Will sacrifice His inmost soul for you."

"A man whose eyes love opens risks his soul-
His dancing breaks beyond the mind's control." (Conference of the Birds)

I am trying to remember these as I go about days. I am feeling comfortable here.

Growth is not a path, it is learning.

Thank you Patrice.

Fare Well

I will be leaving soon, and I don't feel that I've apportioned my time on things correctly, as usual. The last few days of school, and continuing into now are still too busy-busy and I haven't actually gotten to things that I would like to do before leaving. I will do the best I can to continue in augmenting my self with learnings that I should know, or revisit. I got The Giver today from the library at long last. I can't wait to read it again. Even when I was little I recognized that this book at huge undertones that I wasn't able to see in entirety. On another note, Ninja Gaiden is amazing.
I got done taking my SAT's, but even there I found a small tidbit. I forget what the problem was asking me to do, or who the quote was by, but I was asked to look at this quote in a reading problem. The direct quote eludes me, but the idea was that in remembering and thinking about remembered information, actually changes the perspective that it was originally viewed in, and thus changes the memory. If this is true, I have significantly altered my past. I suppose I should concentrate on my future though. Junior year is finally over, and only one more year until college. Even typing that feels weird.
I am also taking requests for book lists. I don't think I have read as much as I should have by now. I have started with re-reading A Wrinkle In Time, and The Giver, but I may also read over Ender's Game, and maybe find some new ones.

After today.. I'm off for adventure i guess.

Oh, I can relate XKCD.. I can relate.