Weekend Topics: Recontinued Remember pt:1

These are some things that I have been noticing, and have tried to narrow down exactly what it is that make people seem so different from me in terms of the way they think. On the base level I feel as if people should be able to come to the same word-form conclusion that I come to, but I feel as if the path to get there is very different, and in the end changes the importance, or how personal the realization is.
"Nothing is small"

Future planning.
People may try to plan for the future, but I do not see them do it in the same way that I do. To me it seems to be more of a conscious attempt at a potential action rather than a scheduled event. I will be participating in it, and i need to think about the realistic situation in which I will be experiencing. I need think about the way it is going to smell, how crowded a thing may or may not be, that point where you look out and see someone you recognize but don't know wether to wave at them or not. Or if you may get flustered momentarily by someone your trying to impress. These all need to be considered. Returning to an idea of preparation. I am not sure if I can name something that I don't have to mentally prepare myself for before doing it. There is always a sonar ping, some "if this happens, I will say this" stretching required before going out and running with it. It is almost because of this that, in accordance with a later description of Role-Playing that it is almost pointless to go to most events that only deviate slightly, or make it so much easier to rationalize not going somewhere. I can imagine the situation, the buzz, the atmosphere, the dimness of the lights, a packed room with too many people and bouncing ping pong balls. Who is there with me, the words they will say and cause me to say words, etc. It becomes thought of. After practically experiencing it in real life I then make a decision if that is indeed the future that I want to participate in. Is that the future I want to have as part of my experience?

This preparation has played a large part in deciding what kind of person I want to be, and who I have become. In order to deal with a predicted event, I should be able to do ______ thing. In order to have that ability, or knowledge, I should practice this new skill, or increase my knowledge about this. The only other route is to explore the future image long enough to discover what exactly I am looking for and how I should realistically expect to achieve it.

Snow in Spring

Walks late at night in a semi warm Portland, good food, co-incidence,

This is another book that I need to reread at a later date and immerse myself in. Despite being in the West, it clearly and vividly reminded me of the Midwest and my home. What I am and what Wisconsin is, and how that carries back to me. My childhood and my identity were momentarily refreshed. Long snowed in days where in a particular drift you make a store for people to admire your different and unique icicles. where you stay out on a dark hill by the barn that is only illuminated by a far off blue of the mysterious Night Light that just comes on whenever it is dark. How that lonely light skips and reflects off of frail clumps falling from the sky. Arms outstretched, clothed in thick bundles standing triumphantly on your creation only to run back up the hill breatheless and tube down again on a track that is finally smooth enough for speed.

I remember.

I remember everything.

Color of a Rhythm